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Articles > Career & Health > Anger management techniques and tips
Anger management techniques and tips
Techniques on how to control anger before it controls you
15th September ,2007
| We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion and can also get you in depression. This article is meant to help you understand and control anger. |
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Symptoms of anger
Anger can be of one of two main types: passive anger and aggressive anger. These types of anger have some characteristic symptoms:
Passive anger
Passive anger can be expressed in the following ways:
1. Secretive behavior, such as stockpiling resentments that are expressed behind people’s backs or through sly digs, giving the silent treatment or under the breath mutterings, avoiding eye contact, putting people down, gossip, anonymous complaints, poison pen letters, stealing, and conning.
2. Manipulation, such as provoking people to aggression and then patronizing forgiveness, provoking aggression but staying on the sidelines, emotional blackmail, ingenuine tearfulness, feigning illness, sabotaging relationships, using sexual provocation, using a third party to convey negative feelings, withholding money or resources.
3. Self-blame, such as apologizing too often, being overly critical, inviting criticism.
Self-sacrifice, such as being overly helpful, pointedly making do with second best, quietly making long suffering signs but refusing help, or lapping up gratefulness and making friendly digs where it is not forthcoming.
4. Ineffectual, such as setting yourself and others up for failure, choosing unreliable people to depend on, being accident prone, underachieving, sexual impotence, expressing frustration at insignificant things but ignoring serious ones.
5. Dispassionate, such as giving the cold shoulder or phony smiles, looking cool, sitting on the fence while others sort things out, dampening feelings with substance abuse (to include overeating), oversleeping, not responding to other’s anger, frigidity, indulging in sexual practices that depress spontaneity and make objects of participants, giving inordinate amounts of time to machines, objects or intellectual pursuits, talking of frustrations but showing no feeling.
6. Obsessional behavior, such as needing to be clean and tidy, making a habit of constantly checking, over-dieting or overeating, demanding that all jobs are done perfectly.
7. Evasiveness, such as turning your back in a crisis, avoiding conflict, not arguing back, becoming phobic.
Aggressive anger
The symptoms of aggressive anger are:
1. Threatening, such as frightening people by saying how you could harm them, their property or their prospects, finger pointing, fist shaking, wearing clothes associated with violent behavior, driving on someone’s tail, setting on a car horn, slamming doors.
2. Hurtful, such as physical violence, verbal abuse, unfair jokes, breaking a confidence, playing loud music, using foul language, ignoring people’s feelings, willfully discriminating, blaming, or punishing people for deeds they are known not to have committed, labeling others.
3. Destructive, such as harming objects, knowingly destroying a relationship between two people, driving recklessly, drinking too much.
4. Bullying, such as threatening people, persecuting, pushing or shoving, using power to oppress, shouting, using a powerful car to force someone off the road, playing on people’s weaknesses.
5. Unjustly blaming, such as accusing other people for your own mistakes, blaming people for your own feelings, making general accusations.
6. Manic, such as speaking too fast, walking too fast, working too much and expecting others to fit in, driving too fast, reckless spending.
7. Grandiose, such as showing off, expressing mistrust, not delegating, being a poor loser, wanting center stage all the time, not listening, talking over people’s heads, expecting kiss and make-up sessions to solve problems.
8. Selfish, such as ignoring other’s needs, not responding to requests for help, queue jumping, ‘cutting in’ when driving.
9. Revengeful, such as being over-punitive, refusing to forgive and forget, bringing up hurtful memories from the past.
10. Unpredictable, such as blowing hot and cold, explosive rages over minor frustrations, attacking indiscriminately, dispensing punishment out of the blue, inflicting harm on other just for the sake of it, using drink and drugs that are known to destabilize mood, using illogical arguments.
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SHIVDEIMITTAL says
The matter provided in your text is excellant,it could be more effective ,if it is supported by pictures.shiv
SHIVDEIMITTAL says
nice tips of managing anger. thanks
SHIVDEIMITTAL says
Nice matter, quite utilizable by the angry people,if they implement in their routine life. pl, keep giving such beautiful tips . thanks.shiv
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